My Epiphany- 11/14/15

Last night, as I laid in the recliner completely helpless I had an epiphany. I sat there and looked at myself. When did I get to this place? Who was I? I had become a person I didn't like, one I didn't recognize. I sat there as shooting pain raced down my leg and I started feeling sorry for myself. I told myself "tonight is the last night you will feel sorry for yourself. Tomorrow, you will get up out of this recliner, walk to the kitchen, take care of your kids and yourself. Tomorrow, you will not be this person." I had become a sick, lazy person who was on the verge of loosing everything. I refuse to let that happen. I could hardly remember this whole week. I was either sleeping or picking up the kids only to go back to sleep when Mr. Geek got home. I am tired of being sick. I am tired of being lazy. I am tired of being tired. I want to live, I want to have fun and run around with my kids. I want to look in the mirror and not feel disgust. 

 So, this morning I woke up to cuddles with my littles. I got up, made breakfast and did dishes. I wish I could tell you that I got up with gumption but I didn't. I heard a little voice in my head that said I couldn't do it. That I had a cold, I am withdrawing from Zoloft, my back hurts so much it brings tears to my eyes and I wanted to stop. But I didn't. And something amazing happened. The more I walked the less my back hurt, the more I played with my kids the sickness started to subside. Today is the first day of THIS life. I am off to take a shower, get the kids dressed and go to the park. Because today is too beautiful to pass up. And just because I am starting to get excited for Christmas and no post is really done without at least one picture...

xoxo,

Danielle